Mastering Self-Love


I read a Toltec book about Love.  You may have heard of it: The Mastery of Love.  It was a unique take on the idea of love.  Basically, the book says that you have to master self-love before you can ever give love to a relationship.  You have to love yourself so much that you don’t even need a relationship at all.  Only in this way can you truly have love and not an addiction to love.

So I started thinking:  how do we master self-love?

I have a few  ideas.

Think about a few reasons why you are grateful FOR YOURSELF everyday.  For example, I am grateful for my health and my intellect.

Try mantras.  Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are incredible and that you love yourself.  Sound stupid, I know, but it works.

Stop focusing on the negative and start changing your thoughts to positive ones.  Boost your own ego!  Go ahead I give you permission.

Well what do you guys think?  Do you need to master self-love before you can find real love?



Staying Present

I have been thinkingbuddha-525883_1920 a lot about the present moment.  Why do we expend so much of our efforts thinking about the future and the past when all that is really there is the present?  We are only guaranteed the present moment.  In fact, really, it’s all that matters.  I know I spend much of my time worrying about the future.  Can I pay my bills?  Do I have enough money for retirement? I sometimes worry so much about the future I forget about the present moment all together.  This saddens me greatly because I know living this way I will miss out on my entire life.  So I am focusing on the present.

“The present moment is the only moment available to us,

and it is the door to all moments.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

So many of us focus on worries of the future or regrets of the past.  Very few of us have mastered living in the present.  But that is truly where living lies.  In the here and now.

But how do we move past our pasts and stop focusing on the future long enough to detect the bloom of the present?

Here are a few tips:

Try yoga.  Focus on your breathing while doing it.

Try meditation.  There are many types.  My personal favorite is called grounding where you meditate while you think about yourself growing roots into the earth like a tree.

Try prayer.  Praying for the present moment and living in spirituality helps you realize your purpose here on Earth.  Even if you don’t believe in a God, try praying to Mother Earth or the Universe.

Slow down.  This is a big one.  Stop rushing through life, slow down, and enjoy each moment.  Otherwise you’re missing it!

That’s all for today.

How to you live in the present moment?


P.S. (After talking about focusing on the present with my buddy over at Pest Control Tucson, he recommended that I read the book “Wherever You Go, There You Are.” Says it changed his life.  It might have to be my next big read.  I’ll let you know how it goes.)

How to be ORIGINAL Part 2

If you missed out on the “I wanna be an original!” discussion, check out Part 1 here.


Okay.  Now we are all on the same page and we all know NOT to be a bunch of sheep.  Check.

What now?

Well, in this discussion I really wanted to focus on how to RAISE an ORIGINAL.  That’s right.  How do you raise your children to be individual thinkers?

It starts with the way we parent them.  If we are too strict, we force them to conform to our rules and we may stifle their individual thoughts and talents.  Did you know that the youngest born child is the most likely to be creative and to pursue non-traditional forms of work?  Take comics for example.  They are 85% more likely to be the last born than the 1st born.  Why?  Because their older siblings probably already filled a traditional career role leaving them to feel safe to do something non-traditional.  Or maybe they just don’t want to compete so they look for other alternatives.

What about how we talk to kids?  Instead of saying, “Don’t cheat!” you are better off saying, “You don’t want to be a cheater.”  Giving a bad characteristic to a person and naming it as a noun gives it more weight and allows children to make choices based on the person they perceive themselves to be.  It also helps to allow them the freedom to make choices while instilling strong family values so that they are raised with individuality without getting into trouble.

Children need freedom and safety to grow and foster their unique strengths.  Unfortunately we rarely do this correctly.  Instead of having our children be the pioneers of new ideas, we push them toward traditional careers such as doctors and nurses.  This is possibly holding them back from being truly unique.

What are you going to do to foster your children’s uniqueness?




How to be an ORIGINAL Part 1

New audiobook.  New rant.


How to be original in business and in life.

For one, you really can’t worry about what other people think.  I mean, REALLY.  Get over it.  If you are always worried about what other people think about you, you will always conform to the general publics ideas and wants.  If you want to be original, you have to stand out from the crowd and that usually means accepting the fact that you are going to be unpopular with most.

Take for example, this simple experiment.  If you hear a new idea, most people balk at it.  They don’t like it.  But if they are introduced to it 5 times or more, they begin to accept it because it feels more familiar.  This is proven in research.  That’s why most new ideas get shot down.  No one likes them.  This includes TV shows, for example.  Seinfeld was not widely accepted at first.  In fact, no one even wanted to run it on TV.  But now it is considered the greatest television comedy ever made.  But it wasn’t popular at first.  Not even close.  People didn’t understand a show about “nothing.”

So that’s the first step.  Accept the fact that you will be unpopular.

But then how to you get the idea to truly be accepted?

More on that next time….


P.S. (Have questions?  Can’t wait?  Comment below or contact me here.)

Inspirational Ramblings From Yours Truly (oh and Gary Vee)


I read a lot of books.  Probably 1 a week.  I was thinking a lot about something Gary Vee said in his latest audiobook “Ask Gary Vee.”  He said that it is more important to build depth rather than width in business and in life.


Not width.

Really.  So I started thinking about friendships and family.  I started thinking about whether I was gathering new contacts or acquaintances instead of building depth with the ones that I already have.

Then I started thinking about work.  Business.  Is it better to build more customers?  Grow your customer base?  Or should we focus on the satisfaction and loyalty of the ones we already have?  It seems that by focusing on the one’s we already have, your buisness will grow from a natural place.  It won’t be forced.  You won’t have lots of customer turnover because they will be truly happy with your product or service and then will refer others to your business.  Of course, that doesn’t mean that you can forget about growing your business.  Because, if you aren’t growing in business you are dying.  But it does raise an important question:  should we focus on the customers we have now or focus on getting new ones?  I think that we need to do both to be successful in business.  I don’t think either end can be forgotten if you truly want to grow into a successful thriving business.  You want happy customers AND new customers.  Am I right?

Let me know your thoughts.  Comment.  Give me a shout.

That’s all for now,


My Take on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People


I’m sure you have heard of the 7 Habit’s of Highly Effective People.  It is a would renowned book.  Famous.  “Life changing.”  Right?  Well, not exactly.  I thought it was mostly common sense and I didn’t get too much out of it so I thought I would summarized it here for your review (and save you the dozen hours or so of reading).

So what are the 7 habits?

  1. Be Proactive
  2. Begin With the End in Mind
  3. Put First Things First
  4. Think Win-Win
  5. Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood
  6. Synergize
  7. Sharpen the Saw

Yup, that’s it.  Now what do they mean?  Well basically, the author Steven Covey is telling us that we need to be in charge of our own lives.  Take action.  Also, we need to take action based on the results we want to get (begin with the end in mind).

Once we do these things we can focus on putting first things first, that is focusing on things that are important but not urgent (vs urgent and important, urgent and not important or not urgent and not important).  This maximizes the value of our time.

We also need to think win-win.  Any kind of win-loose solution will simply not work. It might work for us, but at what expense?  If you want highly effective employees or synergy with your family you always have to discover win-win solutions.

Next, focus on understanding others.  Our inherent nature is to only focus on ourselves.  In fact we rarely listen and mostly wait to give our response to people. To really truly listen, is a great skill to master.

Synergize.  This goes along with win-win.  You want to do greater things as a group than you could as an individual.  This includes your family and your business.

And lastly, sharpen the saw.  Improve your skills.  Never stop growing and learning as this is life.

I hope this was helpful and keeps you from spending the good part of 2 days reading a common sense book.  The values in it are true, and can be helpful, but I think a summary is sufficient for you to get what you need out of it.

Until my next set of ramblings


Bobby Chan Blog Beginnings

This is the beginning.  I am Bobby.  I’m a SoCal free spirit, if that even exists.  I enjoy reading, writing, eating, cooking, and discussing the meaning of life with friends.  I am a daydreamer.  A fantasizer.  An eternal optimist.

I am starting this blog as a journal of sorts.  I hope that I can streamline my variety of adventures and ideas into something coherent and meaningful for you, my readers.  I appreciate you all so much (although, technically speaking, this is my first blog post and none of you exist yet.)

Until next time,